Saturday, May 5, 2007


My dearest friend Jagdeep is the most eligible bachelor in town. He is amongst the only few to be selected for INDIAN IDOL 3 from Ludhiana. He would be soon flying to Mumbai for the final auditions.
Due to short show timing his footage could not be aired, but I had the privilege to see his footage through a contact in Sony Television. Below is the sequence of the footage.

Part 1- Jagdeep in conversation with Mini Mathur in front of Park Plaza

Mini Mathur: Hi! Contenstant Jagdeep how u doing?
Jagdeep: Blushes…………… I I I am doing fine.
Mini Mathur: So have you had formal training in singing.
Jagdeep: Well, not really….. and blushes again… I am great fan of Anu Malik and I guess he is my inspiration. (Then suddenly Jagdeep fiddles for something in his pocket and takes out his purse.)
Mini Mathur: Dumbfounded
Jagdeep: (Opens his purse and shows it to the camera…. Its Anu Malik photograph) That’s my inspiration.
Mini Mathur: That’s so sweet!!! (kisses Jagdeep on his hairy cheek)
Jagdeep: Speechless (With his finger in his mouth gives his killing smile)

Part 2 – Jagdeep enters the audition hall and the jury members are Anu Malik, Alisha, Javed Akhtar and Udit Narayan

Anu Malik: Hey Jagdeep so what will you sing for us
Jagga: Smiles…….. Sir I would like to sing song composed by you “Dekho barish ho rahi hai… “
Javed Akhtar: No you sing something else in which jury members are not involved.
Jagdeep: Sir, Ill sing a song which depicts me, my life
Alisha: Go ahead!!!!
Jagdeep: (Clears his throat, smiles)
Main JATT yamala, pagla, deewana oh rabba (Swings his hand in air and butt in other direction) itni si baat na jaana ki who mere se treat leti hai, kisi aur pe who marti hai… ho ho…. Buraaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Anu Malik: Great goin…. You’re a super star
Udit Narayan: Jagdeep you have a great voice!!! But you need to prove that you can dance too
Jagdeep: Sure sir, ill show you my favorite step… but you gotta cheer me saying Jagga, Jagga
(Jury Members yelling Jagga Jagga Jagga)
Jagdeep: Like WWF super star triple H swings his groin once, twice, trice and jumps in air, lands and gives a perfect pelvic thrust.
Alisha: Claps!!! You’re a star
Jagdeep: Blushes… and blushes again
Jury members (n chorus): “ Koi hero yahan, koi zero yahan, koi estar hai, koi jamadaar hai…………. You’re the best you’re the best… you are the best”
Jagdeep: (Completely falttered): Anu sir, I am your great fan I have all your collection, I want a hug
Anu Malik: Calls Jagga and gives him a hug and Jagdeep faints

Part 3
Jagdeep is carried by INDIAN IDOL 3 spot boys

Mini Mathur: How you feel
Jagdeep: I feel great… lemme just call my friends and give them the good news.
Mini Mathur: So whom would you call first.
Jagdeep: Sahil then Rohan, Harsh, Kanni, Thudda, Jappo, Candy, Bengali, Kanv, Sareen, Pappu, Akhilesh, Sehgal, Matta, Dubey, Jindal,Prateek…………….
Mini Mathur: Faints

(All characters depicted in this are fictitious and the writer has no intentions of hurting someone or make fun….. Readers please take it in Great Spirit…. Esp. my dearest friend Jagga.)


Thursday, May 3, 2007

The Battleground

It’s that time of the year when teachers rule and caste their magical spells onto the students. It’s the end of semester and as always I am not equipped to face the battle.

Three weeks to endsems: I team up with Akhilesh, Rahul and Kingshuk to equip myself with the latest ammunition. Akhilesh and Rahul take charge of finding out the syllabus and books to refer. They approach the most reliable sources The Girls Hostel and Base Camp of 9 pointers. They handover the information to me and Kingshuk and we set ourselves to buy the ammunition. We rush to the store house Sify i-way (not the library) to get a copy of all the notes and books. With just two weeks to endsems I and my battalion are all equipped.

Two weeks to endsems: Its time for chalking out a strategy for the battle. A quick scan of datesheet, syllabus and rounds of meeting with my team mates a perfect strategy and timetable is in place. Every hour has been booked for all 6 courses and strategy in place to convert C’s into B’s. With just 10 days to the endsems the implementation starts.

One week to endsems: We are way behind schedule and running out of time. We decide to bunk all classes and cancel trips to 22 no. and just concentrate on studies. 3 days to endsems only 3 courses out of 6 are half prepared. Its time for swot analysis. We decide to study for the first exam.

Two days to endsems: We set early in morning and start with the easiest part of the course. By the afternoon we realize that the easiest part is not so easy and we have a mammoth task ahead. By late night infact early morning we have managed to finish the half of the course.

A day before endsem: Slowly and steadily we assimilate all that has been taught to us in last six months. By the evening we get another shock and discover new chapters have been added to the course. Its time to run to Karan Sehgals base camp to quickly review the left over course. We set ourselves to burn the midnight oil but then God castes his spell on us. There is no electricity!!!!! By late night with almost 15% of the course left we handed over our fate to the mercy of God.

Execution day: With just few hours to the first exam we quickly revise the course and rote some numericals and head off to the examination hall. As always teachers have set all the questions from the 15% left course (I wonder how do teachers always get to know what I had left) and left our marks in mercy of the teachers.

I and my friends fought like brave men with our pens and calculators and finally surrendered………………………………..

Monday, April 30, 2007

The Three Musketeers

Anirudh, Harsh and Kingshuk were the members of secret organization called the three musketeers, which operated in late night hours in complete secrecy in the dark dungeons B 208/209 Hostel A, TIET. Their aim was to exchange political, philosophical thoughts and prepare for Group Discussions.

Anirudh aka Candy and Kingshuk aka Bengali always sprouted with some discussion topic and Harsh aka Thudda always carried forward the discussion. The discussions were always animated and lost track. The end result was always same:
Bengali on one side and Thudda and Candy teamed up on the other side.

Bengali: You know there is gap between rural India and modern India and I have observed both closely. The gap is like a rubber band if stretched more would break the country in two halves.
Thuda: He he he he he he
Candy: Bengali you’re an idiot you don’t know nothing and present facts to qualify your point

As always there was no winner and three of them disbursed to their rooms. Bengali on way to his room always had a leak standing on the balcony facing the lawn. Thudda kept laughing and Anirudh always had someone in patiala waiting for his call.

Bengali is well set now and even has a girl friend (A perfect match Bengali from Rural India and his girl friend from Modern India). Candy is all set to join the premier Management Institute and hopefully has a stable relation over there. Thudda is still laughing.

The author of this article is hapless spectator of these secret discussions